Nelsonic Philsophy: Special Edition for the 5/11 Senior Reading

You may remember Isabel Nelson (’12, and not pictured above) as the winner of the 2012 Shut Up & Cut Up Found Poetry Contest. But did you also know that she’s an advice columnist? And the coordinator of the 2012 Senior Reading (Friday, May 11, 6 p.m., Music Recital Hall)?

Here’s Isabel’s counsel for the big event:

Good afternoon, all. Almost done with finals week, are you? I see you’ve relinquished real pants in favor of those giant “finals pants” but that you’re still ahead of the point where you want to see how many people you can fit in them—it’s a good omen. The final pitfall, before you decide to pickle yourself in bottom shelf vodka, will be to navigate senior readings.

            Step one: Put on some clothes. Nope, take those off. People’s grandmothers are going to be there, what is wrong with you? Yeah, those are better, I guess. Maybe not the leather jacket, though.

            Step two: Look in the mirror and say to yourself “I can totally read my work to a room full of strangers and their Gam-gams.” Fluff your hair, adjust your clothing. “I can totally read my work to these people, because I’m never going to see them again.” Brush your teeth. Try again: “I can go sit in the Music Recital Hall and listen to some sensitive poets talk about birds for an hour. After all, there might be snacks!”

            Step three: Put on your shoes, you lazy grub. The reading is at 6 and it’s 6:02.

            Step four: Brace yourself: there might not be snacks.

 

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